“Best friends forever” rarely ever happens it’s just that no one talks about it. Just like people date and break up, friends break up, too. Yes, you may wait a long time, maybe even forever, but I will be there to support you. If you have done everything you can to make things right on your side, all you can do is wait. You cannot make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. You are only responsible for your own actions, not others’. Some people just can’t move on from a conflict. No matter how hard you try, your apology may not be accepted. You will feel sad about it, and as your parent, I will be there to support you. It will happen for a big reason or no clear reason at all it will have everything or nothing to do with you. It may happen because someone is being mean to you, or because someone forgot to include you. They will also make you stronger and closer as friends. The tough moments will make you wiser about yourself and each other. It’s also one where you sometimes have to let things that bug you slide. There is no such thing as a perfect friendship.Ī healthy friendship is one where you share your true feelings without fearing the end of the relationship. Here are five hard but important truths we can teach our girls about their relationships - perhaps sparing them that traumatizing “friend divorce” later on. Instead of expecting perfection all the time, they could adapt more easily to stress. They’d be more willing to seek out support and move on when it did. And when we do? They probably wouldn’t beat themselves up as much when conflicts happen. That hiccups – a moody friend, fight over a love interest, or mean joke –- are simply par for the course. We can teach them that friendship challenges are a fact of life.
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Some may not even tell their parents out of embarrassment.īut there are things we can do to prepare girls for the gritty realities of real-life friendships. Many interpret minor problems as catastrophes. Yet when a girls’ social life goes awry, they often blame themselves.
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Research has found that girls who are more authentic in their friendships – by being open and honest about their true feelings, and even having conflicts – have closer, happier connections with each other. It’s a subject I wrote an entire book on, and see often with my students.
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These myths are all part of the pressure girls face to be “ good girls”: liked by everyone, nice to all, and pleasing others before herself.